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While away at dinner, our special selection from a "fantasy menu" at Desire Riviera Maya Pearla clothing-optional, couples-only resort in Mexico, was being set up for us. We crossed the threshold in anticipation, matyre we were ready for what was next. Let's rewind. We arrived a few days earlier to Desire Riviera Maya Resortthe sister to the resort where we finished off our trip.

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Crisis averted.

The staff is extremely friendly, helpful, and completely nonjudgmental, and overall were a highlight of the trip for us. We crossed the threshold in anticipation, thinking we were ready for what was next. For the most part.

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If you go to one of the following places for a sex vacationthough, staying present probably won't be an issue. And if these experiences are anything, they're definitely new. I consider matuure to matuure very open-minded, sexually adventurous, totally fine with nudity love it, actuallyand fully supportive of pretty much anything going on between consenting adults. Most guests coming to resorts like these are generally knowledgeable about what occurs there. Our friends, who laughed good-naturedly and incredulously asked how we didn't know what the deal was all along, ed us on the dance floor.

The resorts describe themselves as places full of freedom, oases of "beauty and eroticism" wholeheartedly agree where "fantasies become reality" reality, indeed. This is a full-on sex resort, with public rooms decorated with round pink and black leather beds dedicated to group sex, massive hot tubs where couples and groups can go at it to their hearts' desires, and where in my case attempting to casually rock a bathing suit bottom made me stand out among the sea of bare butts.

No problem. I found myself in a pool-size sex spa full of guests — all completely nude — sandwiched in between one maturd the most attractive women I'd ever seen in real life and her boyfriend.

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But I will tell you one thing about them all: They were an adventure. We rolled with it, to an extent. The resort is also home to a huge variety of restaurants, most notably including She, which serves seven-course meals full of aphrodisiacs. Our ignorance about what an "erotic couples massage" really means is a whole other story.

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Still, what you get out of any trip you take as a couple depends on what you put in. Did we know what we were getting ourselves into? It was the erotic preamble to what would've been sex with my boyfriend — guided by a beautiful and amazingly sweet woman decked out in black lace and silk. Sexy shows every night, great food, and sensual experiences geared toward turning up the heat in your relationship? Couples and sex therapist Marissa Nelson, LMFT tells Bustle that you'll need to put aside your computers, phones, and lives back vwcation home for at least a good chunk of the trip.

I went to two of them on my own, and three of them with my partnerand I had different experiences with each. But it wasn't exactly the experience we expected.

We thought we'd chat and laugh with the husband and wife we'd brought along with us while we watched a sexy vacatiom, sip Champagne, and be dancing at the resort's actually very fun disco in no time. On day two, however, as I found myself in a pool-size sex spa full of guests — all completely nude — sandwiched in between one of the most attractive women I'd ever seen in real life not complaining one bit here and her down-for-pretty-much-anything boyfriend, it occurred to me that my ificant other and I were in way, way over our he.

This is absolutely what many people are looking for in a getaway — and I'm so glad that there's places that exist where couples can really be themselves and where this is celebrated. But due to my own obliviousness it turned into the preamble for what was essentially a foursome — since I'd invited our newfound friends vavation for the literal ride. Great, no more tan lines.

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Our bathtub was filled with bubbles and roses, our bed completely covered with the petals as well. Even if it happens to be on public display, as is the case at the resorts, I'm down. Forgot your lube? Absolutely not. Clothing optional?

Bottom line, going to an erotic couples resort got my partner and me out of our comfort zones, but more importantly, the resorts allow others who visit to truly be in their comfort zones, whatever those may be. I guess the vaaction petals on the bed should have been my red flag? We suddenly started having second thoughts about inviting our new couple friends along for what we stupidly, in hindsight believed to be the kind of silly striptease you see at bachelor parties that last all of 10 minutes.

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There's just way too much excitement that you won't want to miss. It was not.

They also like the ability to maure as sexual as they want without censoring themselves. If you want that exciting feeling you got when your relationship was new, it's important to do new things together.

Desire Riviera Maya and Pearl are all vaation creating an environment of openness, where people can explore their sexual desires in a safe, accepting place among like-minded people. While away at dinner, our special selection from a "fantasy menu" at Desire Riviera Maya Pearla clothing-optional, couples-only resort in Mexico, was being set up for us.

Let's rewind. We certainly learned what "anything goes" can mean.

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